The gas engineer

i'm going to tell you a funny story about a gas engineer. His name is John. I met him when I asked him for a gas certificate for one of my boss' properties. I don't know what exactly sparked the conversation (or his monologue rather)... but he kept saying how big contractor companies are hiring very cheap eastern european workers who are doing a crappy job because they all come here for a short while, live 7 or 8 of them crammed in small rooms and with the money they make they go back to their contries and live like kings. Him on the other hand, needs to pay for his qualification and to get certification and can't afford to do crappy jobs and can't aford to charge small fees because in order to maintain his lifestyle he needs to make £200 a day... I'm not going to discuss now the wrong stereotypes he has... or about stereotypes foreigner workers have about English workers (lazy, expensive, a pain)... It's just funny to see how upset some people are with eastern europeans... English workers (builders) absolutely hate workers from East Europe... It's quite a different attitude to the one of English intelectuals who are rather indiferent to eastern europeans... maybe because they don't feel threatened in any way? Or is it because they understand that the UK economy is aided by the in-flow of foreigner workers....

Goodbye Birmingham?

I have a friend who is studying and volunteering in Birmingham. She used to be a history teacher back in Romania and she now tries to get re-qualified as a teacher in the UK. It will cost her 3 years of college. Plus she needs to prove she has the experience before she gets a job. She had the great chance of free accommodation until now but just as she is getting into financial trouble she also found out that she will lose the free accommodation she enjoyed so far. She desperately needs a job but she told me that the Job Centre Plus is not at all helpful. She said that British friends of hers have a different experience with the Job Centre - a much more positive one, and she now seems to think that she is discriminated against as a foreigner.
I talked to my Spanish colleagues about this and one of them was telling me that outside London the situation for foreigners is quite different and she felt discriminated against as well, when she lived in Liverpool. I heard the same story from a Romanian couple who moved from London to Manchester.
I don't know how true this is... but it's certainly hard to leave with this impression that you are discriminated against.

The positive aspect of this all is that well, I live in London... :)

all good things - The biginning

well, if I was to continue my blogging in the same rithm as before, I would probably have no entry for 2011. The truth is that even though I haven't been blogging for a while I have been thinking about it many times. But I always have the impulse to do it at the wrong time or in the wrong place so I ended up not doing it...

So as to demonstrate that I have actually given this a bit of thought here's a cople of resolutions I reached.. One is that I will from now on try to blog in English as this would better express my current situation and it certainly will not bother anyone (as everyone I befriended in the last 10-15 years of my life can read English). I'm most certainly better at expressing things in my own native language but even if it comes easier I'm not that spontanious or free with language in romanian either. So no big loss there...
One other resolution that I have reached is that I will blog with the general intent to bilt an objective, introspective, sincere and ultimatelly representative account of an imigrant (in the UK).

It might sound borring... But I'm sure some people are just curious and others are going to feel like they've been there too...

The life of an imigrang might be like a black box (for both those he's now living with and those he left back home) but it's not a closed one. The story must be told even if it's not extraordinary, exciting and great. It's a story and a true one and one that is taking place right now.

I have always been used to being part of a minority group. In my country I was part of a religious minority. In the UK I'm still part of the same religious minority but that is second place now to the fact that I am an immigrant. The thing in the UK is that being an immigrant doesn't actually make you a minority. Where you are coming from definitely makes you one but half of the people you meet in the street are foreigners... Does that make thing easier? In some ways it definitely does. In others... well, it might make them more difficult. But you don't think about it: either way as an immigrant you still have things you need to overcome: you are alone, you are different in so many ways from everyone you meet. It is commonplace for Londoners to celebrate this diversity in a very loud way. they declare it everywhere... but of course they come short of the ideal. Coming short of, though, does not mean that they are not actually quite close to it and in the leading place compared with other nations...
There is no straight forward conclusion to my train of thoughts... It's something like this: you are different, you are immigrant, you are actually just like half of all the others... Who are you? Where are you going? What do you want? And sometimes quite importantly: what do the others think you want...
Sometimes we reach a comfortable place and we think to ourselves: this is it- it's my destiny, I fit well, I have no trouble from anyone... Well, this might just be the moment you are wrong... There are success stories - but do we actually know what's behind those stories? It's good if you can make it work elsewhere - you are actually living the dream of so many others - but the set of things you have to overcome, not necessarily on a day to day basis but in key points of your life, do weigh down on you and will never let you forget....
It's good to be prepared for that and not forget - else you'll be reminded...

What I'm saying is not to be pessimistic. Have a positive attitude, believe that you'll succeed but never forget and don't expect others to forget.

Zodia mea este: Leu - nu vad nici o legatura, si chiar daca as vedea nu ar exista.

As vrea: sa nu ma mai stresez.
Pastrez: prietenii.
Mi-as fi dorit: multe

Nu-mi place: sa ascult inregistrari ale performantelor live.
Ma tem: de spatii mici / inchisoare
Aud: o liniste asurzitoare uneori: f. rar.

Imi pare rau: pentru cateva lucruri spuse
Imi place: vantul intr-o zi cu soare.
Nu sunt: nebuna
Dansez: singura
Niciodata: nu imi las telefonul mobil acasa
Plang: la film
Nu-s intotdeauna: cinstita
Nu-mi place la mine: spiritul critic (incerc sa-l innabus)

Sunt confuz: cand vine vorba de anumite persoane

Am nevoie: de mancare si somn
Ar trebui: sa fiu mai muncitoare si mai ambitioasa
Daca eram un anotimp: as fi iarna - ca sa simt mirosul gerului
Daca eram o luna: octombrie - ca sa simt miros de zacusca

Daca eram o zi a saptamanii: as fi fost vineri.

Daca eram o parte a zilei: as fi fost timpul dintre 8pm si 12pm
Daca eram un animal marin: as fi fost un peste mic, colorat in negru si albastru.
Daca eram un animal de uscat: as fi fost o "spider monkey"
Daca eram o virtute: as fi fost dreptatea
Daca eram o planeta: as fi fost Pluto

Daca eram un lichid: as fi fost apa oxigenata

Daca eram o piatra: as fi fost o piatra pe fundul unui rau
Daca eram un metal: as fi fost plumb
Daca eram o pasare: as zbura

Daca eram o planta: as fi fost verde inchis
Daca eram o stare a vremii: as fi fost ceata
Daca eram un instrument: as fi fost un pian
Daca eram un sentiment: as fi fost mila
Daca eram un cantec: ar trebui sa fiu de lauda pt Dumnezeu

Daca eram un film: as fi fost filmul vietii mele - deci o drama cu sfarsit neglorios, paradoxal dar in care s-ar regasi toata lumea

Daca eram un oras: as avea parcari multe si gratuite
Daca eram un gust: as fi fost dulce acrisor
Daca eram o aroma: as fi fost scortisoara
Daca eram o culoare: as fi fost mov inchis
Daca eram un material: as fi fost facuta din lana
Daca eram o parte a corpului: as fi fost un umar
Daca eram un drog: as fi cafeina / paracetamol
Daca eram un accesoriu: as fi fost un trandafir negru din matase de prins in par
Daca eram o expresie a fetei: as fi fost o spranceana ridicata sau un ras isteric
Daca eram un personaj de desene animate: as fi fost eu
Daca eram o forma: as fi fost neregulata
Daca eram un numar: as fi fost 8
Daca eram o masina: as fi fost un Mini Cooper
Daca eram o haina: as fi fost o rochita scurta si neagra cu maneci lungi

Regula este ca daca ai citit chestionarul tb sa raspunzi si tu la el... :)

sfarsitul de saptamana miercurea

la fel de ciudat ca unghiile care se rup, ca prietenii care devin parinti peste noapte, ca si oboseala care iti daruieste halucinatii ciudate, la fel de ciudat ca momentul in care iti dai seama ca deja "a trecut".... saptamana si altele cu ea... si la fel de ciudat ca atunci cand nu poti spune cum te-ai simtit toata saptamana.. ca parca abia te-ai trezit - ai dormit tot timpul.. nici nu stii pe cine ai vazut, cu cine ai vorbit, ai vorbit macar? si cand esti convins ca toti au dormit si ei nici nu mai stai sa te intrebi ce s-a intamplat intre timp. te intorci catre el /ea si il/o intrebi ce mai face... ii spui ca ti-a fost dor de el/ ea... el /ea nu stie de ce ca doar ati fost impreuna timp de o saptamana, ba nu - doua, ba nu - trei! in sir!
vrei sa vorbesti cu toti - cu toti de-odata! Sa-i intrebi ce fac si cum s-au simtit in ultimii 2-3 ani... dar daca te intreaba si ei? e greu de sintetizat... si nu ai chef de intrebari tintite asupra ta... deci nu mai vorbesti cu nimeni. Poate doar cu B. Ea intelege. nu pune intrebari. mai povesteste... iti da muzica de ascultat. Cateodata muzica ei este greu de ascultat. nu intelegi. iti da filme de vazut... nu ai timp sa le vezi - you're busy visualising your dreams... facand proiectii... uitandu-te la picioarele tale paralizate - intrebandu-te de ce nu poti sa misti un deget. de ce stai pe loc? de ce? de ce? de ce nici macar nu stii incotro ai merge daca te-ai misca de pe loc. asa ca nu faci decat sa lovesti usor cu degetele niste clape negre si sa urmaresti cum sclipirile intunecate, nebuloasele translucide ale creierului tau se astern in randuri si randuri de prea mici, prea drepte semne conventionale.

iarna atipica / antipatica

Aproape a trecut iarna. A fost o iarna interesanta pentru mine - am alergat dupa zapada (in RO) si nu am prins deloc si apoi, cand am renuntat, m-a (sur)prins zapada pe mine ca si pe toti londonezii - ca sa nu am iarna fara nici un fulg...
Acasa mi-am vazut familia si prieteni din aproape toate etapele (din generala, din liceu, din facultate)... Am ramas cu impresia ca desi apa (timpul) trece, pietrele (oamenii) raman (aceasi). Uitand-ma inapoi spre Romania am impresia ca traiul acolo ar fi o aventura (atat in sensul bun cat si in cel rau). ei... e doar o iluzie care s-ar destrama foarte repede o data stabilita acolo.
Oricum, am reusit sa ma invat cu faptul de a trece prin Romania decat in vizita... nu mai sufar cand plec... mi se pare ciclul normal al vietii. Nu am luat niciodata o hotarare constienta dar observ ca mergem o data iarna si o data vara. Suntem tipici.

ce-mi trece prin cap

Pai normal ca o sa vorbesc despre ce imi trece prin cap pt ca niciodata nu vorbesc/scriu despre altceva...
Am descoperit ca filmele si cartile recomandate de betty si pe care le-am citit eu in ultima vreme au ceva in comun - ceva modern, lacunar, un oarecare strigat nearticulat in pustie, o oarecare disperare sub masca de "cool", o oarecare lipsa de sens, o rotire pe loc pana la ameteala, un abuz al propriului eu pana se ajunge la esenta, o dezbracare de tot ce te reprezinta ca sa te "descoperi". Dar ce este descoperit de fapt?

Ce s-ar intampla daca maine m-as trezi plina de riduri - ca o baba? ce ar mai ramane din mine? Dar daca o sa simt ca de fapt asta este adevaratul eu? Ca de fapt asteptam sa se intample? Daca m-as simti poate pt prima data ca felul in care arat ma reprezinta?